Stop Waiting and Start Building
In this episode, Joseph Spurgeon sits down to discuss the story of a 19-year-old who defied modern expectations—owning a home, building a family, and rejecting the lazy, passive lifestyle that traps so many young men. They break down why young men today are struggling, how hard work and faith open doors, and what it takes to step up and lead.
Most young men today are stuck. Not because they aren’t smart. Not because they aren’t capable. But because they’ve bought into a lie: "You have time. Don’t rush. Just enjoy life while you can."
But let’s look at reality.
At 19, your grandfather had a job, a wife, and maybe even a house. At 19, most young men today have a mountain of DoorDash debt, a gaming setup, and no plan for the future. Something has gone terribly wrong.
The world tells you to waste your twenties—to “find yourself,” to “just have fun,” to avoid commitment and responsibility. But the men who listen to that advice end up at 30, broke, single, and wondering where the last decade went.
That’s why it’s time to reject passivity and take dominion.
1. Manhood Doesn’t Start at 30
Somewhere along the way, our culture decided that adulthood starts later and later. Men used to step up at 18. Now, they’re told to wait until they’re 30 to settle down, buy a home, or start leading a family.
The result? A generation of men who drift through life with no direction. They push off marriage. They push off responsibility. They push off real work. And instead, they consume—entertainment, junk food, endless distractions—while their strength withers away.
Manhood isn’t about age. It’s about responsibility. Start now.
2. Comfort Will Kill You
Most men don’t fail because life is too hard. They fail because life is too easy.
Every great man in history was shaped by struggle and responsibility. But today’s men are drowning in comfort—soft beds, soft jobs, soft minds. They avoid challenges because challenges hurt. But that’s exactly why you need them.
Nothing grows without resistance. Your muscles only get stronger when they’re pushed past their limit. Your character is no different.
You will not become a man by waiting for life to get easier. You will become a man by stepping into the fire and letting it forge you into something stronger.
3. Marriage & Family Don’t Hold You Back—They Make You Stronger
Too many men think they need to “get their life together” before they get married. But here’s the truth: marriage isn’t a roadblock to success—it’s fuel for it.
A good wife doesn’t make a man weaker. She makes him better. She gives him something to build for.
You were made for dominion. You were made to lead, protect, and provide. But too many men today avoid marriage because they’re afraid of responsibility. They want the benefits of a wife and family without the cost. That’s childish.
The best thing a young man can do? Find a godly woman, marry her, and start building something real.
4. Own Something—Even If It’s Small
Renting a house, renting a car, renting your time to an employer—it all adds up to the same thing: you own nothing, and you control nothing.
You don’t need to be rich to start building wealth. You just need to be smart.
Stop financing things you don’t need.
Stop throwing money away on junk.
Find a way to own something, even if it’s small.
You might not be able to buy a home today. But could you buy land? Could you start a side hustle? Could you invest in something that will actually grow instead of wasting your paycheck on fast food and entertainment?
Ownership is the foundation of stability. It’s what allows a man to plan for the future instead of just surviving the present.
5. The Excuse Factory Needs to Shut Down
Most men who fail in life don’t fail because they aren’t talented. They fail because they’re lazy and full of excuses.
“It’s too hard.” Good. Hard things are what make you stronger.
“I don’t know where to start.” Pick something and start.
“I’m waiting for the right time.” The right time is right now.
“But what if I fail?” You will. That’s part of the process. Learn, get up, and keep going.
The difference between men who succeed and men who don’t isn’t luck. It’s responsibility. Winners take ownership of their future. Losers make excuses.
Conclusion: Build, Fight, Protect, Lead
The young men who step up now will be the ones leading in 10 years. The ones who waste their time will be the ones still blaming society for their problems at 30.
You have a choice: drift through life, or build something real.
If you’re ready to start, here’s your first step: Stop waiting. Stop making excuses. Take action today.
And if you want a deep dive into how one 19-year-old built his life while others were still playing games, check out the latest episode of The Patriarchy Podcast.
Listen now. Start building. No more excuses.